*This is a guest post by my oldest brother, Chris Carden.
There is a great passage from a book by Ivan Turgenev which addresses a condition present at all times in my heart. Unfortunately I have been unable to find the exact reference so I will paraphrase. Basically in a discussion about the purpose of the human existence one of the protagonists remarks: [I find that the older I get the more I disparage the greater pursuits of humanism. I feel I would do anything to save the sick and dying on foreign shores, and yet the misfortune of my neighbor is revolting.]
Though I don’t remember many details about the book, that quote has really stuck with me. I have seen that selfishness and pride rise up in my heart at many periods in my life. Sometimes I become very passionate about a particular cause and I am ready to sing God’s praises from the highest church steeple for the miracles he is performing all over the world. In the same breath, someone from my local circle: my child, a friend, a needy person from church; will evoke general disgust in my heart as a result of some inconvenience that love for them might require.
How do I get beyond that? First I must continually use God’s word as a mirror into my own human nature. 1 John 4:20 does not deal lightly with my failings: “If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” It seems I must tell myself over and over that my human tendencies will only lead to my own dissatisfaction, isolation, and insignificance if I allow them to reign in my life. Second, though I may not naturally be inclined to love my “brother” sometimes I must take that step of faith, love him or her, and then allow God to work in my heart. As I look back on my life the things which have brought the most meaning to my life where often relationships that initially “put me off.” As I gave into my loss of free time in order to invest in someone else’s life, I didn’t always find immediate joy. Sometimes I would even dread some encounters because I knew this person had “nothing to offer me” and would only waste my time. As I look back now I am more proud of my intentional Christian relationships than I am of any other achievements I may have accomplished in my life.
Many Christians today have a general apathy at best (and disdain at worst) for their involvement with the local church body. Questions of worship or preaching style are essentially founded on the bedrock of discomfort by the proximity of our neighbor. How often do I look at my watch when I am in the presence of my “neighbors” eagerly waiting for my next opportunity to indulge my own comforts and desires? I think the mega-church movement has certainly done a great deal of good work for the kingdom, but there is a real danger there as well to which many Christians’ spiritual fervor has been threatened. The threat is a relative anonymity provided by the size of a big church that offers to protect you from this critical proximity. Many Christians alleviate their cultural consciousnesses by going to church every week without ever being a part of a church as the Bible directs. They may hear a great sermon on Sunday, but there is no walk with other believers Monday through Saturday. My wife and I have certainly allowed ourselves to become trapped by this phenomenon at more than one period in our lives.
Meaningful and Christian proximity is often uncomfortable, but if we are to grow in our walk with Christ, find fulfillment in our lives, and have an impact in our world it is absolutely essential.
