A Bit of Afghan Culture

Today I must take a short break from the purpose series to pass along a story told to me by my dari language instructor. I cannot myself attest to the veracity of this story, but that does not make it less true. I’ll let you take from it what you will..

In a particular village in a remote part of Afghanistan, lived an aspiring, middle-aged man. He was husband to only one wife and father to three children. We shall simply call him Mullah, for that is what he was. A mullah is a man who is educated in Islamic theology and who usually acts as the local Islamic cleric. For my readers who can’t fully comprehend Mullah’s role in society, think of him as a small town church pastor.

One day as he was leading the people in prayer, Mullah became uncomfortable in his bowed posture and tried to quietly let out a little squeaker. Nature did not comply. Everyone in the mosque froze. Awkward… Mullah, stood upright, shame written all over his face, and bolted, not just out of the mosque but out of town. He would rather leave his family and all his possessions than endure the public humiliation of being known as the mullah who farted.

Five years passed until Mullah decided to return, hoping that people would have forgotten his embarrasing moment. Upon entering the town, Mullah saw a few things that he did not recognize. “How long has this tree been here?” Mullah asked two little boys who were playing soccer in the street. “It was planted two years after Mullah farted,” replied the boys.

Things did not look good for Mullah but thoughts of his family urged him on. Surely he would find forgiveness in his own home. As he approached his house around nightfall, he krept up to the window for some further reconaissance. He saw his wife first, then his son. She was scolding him, “come here you son of farter..”

Dejected, Mullah turned around and left..

From what I have noticed about Afghans, the story is plausible considering how much honor means to these people. If they lose their honor, their lose everything..